All the joy of honeymoon and newly wed couple tag on you, abruptly fade away when the announcement of a baby is coming.
For us, that was three months after our wedding and our first child is on the way.
We didn’t expect that it will come so soon but it was the beginning of a fast rollercoaster ride for us. 19 years on, I still can remember the day we became first-time Mom and Dad.
I could count my lucky star as my first child is also my parents’ first grandchild. They were as excited as we were but the real burden fell on my wife. As this was her first pregnancy, the anticipation of having a baby is much greater for her than anybody else. She took comfort and support from her elder sisters and her friends who have gone through pregnancy.
Their advice on how to cope with the body changes, what kind of food to eat that is good for babies and what kind of food to avoid. Yes, the foods the mothers take somehow affect the well being of the baby. I will cover this topic in my later article.
My wife even got the recommendation on the best gynecologist around and selected the best hospital that is most suitable for her. We received a book gift on First Time Parents by Dr Miriam Stoppard from her friend. Later we bought more books on babies and pregnancy. We were given a lot of trusted advice from my parents, her family members and her friends. But nothing could prepare my wife and I, especially me, for the tense, joyous and sometimes hilarious moment of giving birth.
I could say after my first baby was born and subsequently 5 more pregnancies after that we were considered an old hand.
The real challenges come when the baby was born. You have to learn fast, act fast and said goodbye to your personal needs. Baby comes first in all sense of words that until now if I hear a baby cry, I will know if the diaper is wet or the baby needs feeding.
The most important advice from me to the first time DAD is to help and support your wife in every way you can during the first month after her giving birth. If not, get help from people who can help your wife like a mid-wife or retired nurse.
This is the most critical period as she just experience the most enduring moment of giving birth. It will take few days for her to recover either from natural-birth or C-section. Both ways will take its toll on your wife. And with the baby around, the burden will be more.
As a husband and first-time Dad, this is the best time to take the opportunity to be bonded with your newly born child. If you can, learn how to bathe your child from ward nurses. Learn to feed your baby. Learn to change the baby diaper and clean the baby with the baby wiper. Not rinse the baby from running water. Learn to burp the baby. Learn to put your child to sleep in your arms. The best technique to put your baby to sleep will only be learnt from doing it often.
Most pediatricians will recommend newborn baby to be breast feed. Medical research has shown that baby breast feed are more calm and intelligent later in their adult life. It will also save you some money from not buying all the baby formula milk.
I have encouraged my wife to fully breast-feed to all our children with a good reason too. Not only does it save money from buying the formula milk but also from you NOT getting up in the middle of the night to help prepare the baby milk. You can nudge your wife from sleep and say to her baby need milk and only she has the milk.
And of course, record all these Kodak moment with your digital camera. I guarantee you, that when you look back in 10 or 15 years time, you will be glad that you were there when your child was born. You and your child will spend endless time looking and admired the baby photos and in turn they will appreciate you for your effort to be best Dad for them.
I didn’t have a digital camera back than, but I did took pictures on film of all my children when they were born. I scanned the pictures and stored it digitally and later categorized the photos according to years and event like birthdays or school activities.
Now my children love to sit beside me and scanned through all their photos when they were younger.
Another advice that I could give to first time Dad is, learn to massage your child when they are four months onwards. This not only develops a bond with your child but also has a calming and relaxing effect for the child before bedtime. Use soothing and encourage words or rhythm as you slowly massage your child to sleep.
